What are the distinctions between filters and boundaries in terms of managing your energy.
In my coaching, I'm often looking at these 2 things as a way to protect personal energy. I'm diving deep into the distinctions between filters and boundaries.
Filters are, in the way I use them for energy management, like a screen that allows some things to come through and others to be blocked. They are a form of protection, but with a lighter hand.
It's a tool to be able to still allow certain interactions, but not all. Kind of like a doorman at the club. If you have the right vibe, you get in. If you don't, you won't. And it's totally up to the one making the "rules" on what qualifies as the right vibe. In this case, YOU.
Now boundaries are a different thing altogether.
Boundaries are the sturdy walls that define our space, safeguarding us and becoming our greatest allies. They are the hard stop for things that we don't allow into our space.
This can be ideas/beliefs, energy, people, etc., and are usually established as a response of an experience that showed us that we need to either close in our filter or just create the boundary if it was missing.
It is the ultimate stand for ourselves and our well-being.
Here's the thing though. If we are putting up filters and boundaries without coming from a place of empowerment, we can also trap things on our side of the filters and boundary walls that aren't serving us. They have the power to either uplift or constrain us, depending on whether they align with our dreams and values, and can cultivate genuine connections when used properly.
If our toddler inside is running the show, they may block IN things that our adult or Higher Self could easily manage. We may damage relationships or interactions that are actually there to provide growth for us, and allow us to become manipulative all in the good name and crutch of boundaries.
So when I'm working with my clients around this, we are always checking on the energy of the filter or boundary, and the voice of the rules maker to make sure they are healthy filters and boundaries.
It all starts with self-reflection, introspection and checking the energy to match your needs, limits, and desires.
Recognizing When a Filter Needs to change to a Boundary
Repeated clashes, emotional exhaustion, and that nagging feeling of being violated are clues that a filter is no longer serving your growth. It's time to shake things up and transform that filter into a boundary.It requires self-awareness and a willingness to adapt.
From there, it's all about honoring your needs, setting clear intentions, effectively communicating expectations (no whining,begging or pleading allowed - that's not coming from a place of power), and the actions you will take if there isn't an honoring of the boundary.
Holding Yourself and Other Accountable
Sooooo, here's the thing that's super important to realize. You are ever only responsible for holding yourself accountable.
Trying to hold others to account is like babysitting and puts everyone in the framework of victim, persecutor, or hero. And we're not here to play that game. We're here for personal empowerment.
And what that also means is that, provided you have communicated clearly, and have gained agreement with prevailing consciousness, if a boundary is not honored, then you get to choose. And when another person is involved, so do they. In fact, they probably already have by their actions.
You can choose to educate, communicate again, forgive and give grace, or to end things. I've had to make this difficult choice on more than one occasion in my life, and most profoundly in my marriage and in job situations.
I have given 2nd chances (and more) and when I've see that the situation isn't changing to match my needs, values, energy or desires, I have had to take actions that were extremely difficult AND were the best things for me to do.
We aren't responsible for others' growth and development - only ours. And often times when we establish filters and boundaries, we can more clearly see when things are or are not a fit.
That's part of the ALIGNMENT process that is the basis of my work - creating an environment that propels your personal growth forward.
By understanding the distinctions between filters and boundaries, and knowing when to transform a filter into a boundary, you're now equipped to embrace vulnerability, heal and transform areas of your life and protect your energy.
This journey is yours to own, so go forth, embrace the unknown, and unleash the extraordinary within you.